Performed at ‘Shades of Art, 9th Edition‘ at Bing! Green Heights, Jan 11.
Text of poem below the cut.
I learned two new terms this year
from a headline that’s been
sweeping through my newsfeed:
“Is the ‘bikini bridge’ the new ‘thigh gap’?”
In case you are not familiar with the latest terms
Designed to make women shitty about themselves
Allow me to bring you up to speed
A ‘thigh gap’ is the space between your thighs
After you close your legs (As you can see, I don’t have one)
If you ever wondered about certain positions in Internet porn
Hashtag ‘thigh gap’ could be the reason why it was possible
A ‘bikini bridge’ is when you’re lying down
And your stomach is so concaved that your bikini bottoms
Are suspended between your hipbones
Creating a space between Lycra and your lower stomach
This cause owners to take a selfie and post it on Instagram
hashtagged bikinibridge2014
Let’s not forget the fun word from summer last year
Hashtag hot dog legs
This happened when you’re lying down
And your legs have no muscle definition whatsoever
That they look like a pair of wet hot dogs
enjoying summer on the beach
This cause owners to take a selfie and submit it to
hot-dog-legs dot tumblr dot com
If you were born with any of the conditions listed above
Congratulations! You will be hashtag trendy for the next few weeks
Have you noticed how everything in that list
Hits below the belt
It is not enough to make fat girls feel unworthy
Because their label has two digits on them
We’re coming for you too, skinny girls who are
Not quite thin enough to be cool and
Not quite smart enough to realise that
hashtag bikinibridge is a hoax people are falling for
People are laughing at the kids in America
Who don’t eat anymore because
They want to build a bridge
From a molehill to a mountain
I’ve wasted enough years of my life
Trying to look like my thinner friends
I am meant for bigger things
I was born this way so you can see me coming
Run, if you tell my smaller sisters they are not thin enough
Run, if you tell my bigger sisters they will never be loved
Run, if your girlfriend tears herself up in front of a mirror
And you let her
Run, if you know deep inside
You won’t have looked at her if she looks like me
I will not wait for the day when any part of my body
becomes an in-thing
My thighs have always been good friends
My bikini bottom sits under my muffin top
My legs can tell you how far I come, and how far I will go
I have better things to do than to become
A victim of a hashtag
