Category: life

  • Goodbye Dog

    Goodbye Dog

    There are many things that I regret about today.

    Like how I wish I recognised that you were beyond saving, and chose to hold you as you slipped away. Instead, dad and I threw you into the backseat of my car and I drove as fast as I dared to a clinic nearly an hour away, the same one we went to only three days ago. We got you fully vaccinated, you little shit, and I should have known that your lack of fighting was a sign that there wasn’t anything left to fight for.

    I wish I knew the exact moment that you left, but I could only guesstimate that it was just before 11am, on 23 March 2024. I reached back to touch you at the second traffic light from home, only to find that your heart had stilled. When you wailed to alert us that you were leaving, your heart was beating nearly out of your chest. I wailed too, and had to drive three more traffic lights before I could do another check for signs of life. Your nose was cold and there was no breath coming from it.

    It was the longest drive of my life.

    I thought I had it together, but as I started to tell the vet assistant why I was there, I started sobbing again. She understood. I was not the first one there, parting the Red Sea to reach safety and finding that I was instead sailing the River Styx, escorting a lifelong companion –  your lifelong. My lifelong would be to live longer than I have loved you, like all those dog reels say. I guess you’ll be getting a reel now.

    You weighed 19.70 kg at the end of your life. Another vet assistant touched your body in the backseat of my car and said, “She just left, didn’t she? She’s still warm.”

    Two days ago, I was sitting with a close friend, speaking in code about how we’re afraid of this moment arriving for our dogs. I thought I would have to hold your paw on an examination table and whisper, “It’s okay” as you go to sleep for the last time. I thought there would be a proper goodbye. I thought I would gaze into your golden brown eyes and see the moment you leave, although it kills me to think about.

    You laid on your purple bath towel in the backseat of my car, head behind the driver’s seat because that was how we ended up placing you. It was your favourite spot, sticking your nose out the window just behind me, the wind whipping your drool over the window pane. The last time you did that was during the vet visit just days prior. I’m glad you had a chance to experience it one last time.

    When I announced your death to the other people who knew I loved you, I realised that you were 13 years old – a number that is special to me. Tomorrow begins the first lunar eclipse of the year, representing a life-changing shift. There is no greater life-changing shift than moving on with my life without you, but that’s not all. It’s a lunar eclipse in Libra, and guess who’s the fucking Libra here going through a life-changing shift? And guess whose furry ass is getting cremated during the same eclipse?

    You knew who your mum is, didn’t you? You timed all this perfectly to set me free for all the big things coming my way. You left me with a respectable amount of money that our friends sent for your care, because you knew I would absolutely use it for your care and take nothing for myself. How a dog ended up richer than her owner is mystifying to me. I was going to buy new canvases next week to see if you were up to painting some thank-you gifts for your wonderful benefactors, but now I would never let go of the three paintings we made together. I guess I’ll make you a nice little urn instead.

    It would be strange to go to the front porch and you’re no longer jumping to your feet to greet me. The number of times I went to peer at you through the front windows since last week to see if you were okay. To see if your chest was moving up and down while you slept in your hammock bed.

    I was convinced that you were on the mend yesterday, because you kept getting up and coming over. I told dad it was a good sign because you had been lethargic for days. We had our last walk this morning. I didn’t take any photos or videos. You were showing signs of discomfort and refused your biscuits. Later, you ate a few small pieces of chicken but ignored your breakfast. A bit later on, while I was sweeping my bedroom, you announced that your plane to the next life was boarding.

    After the vet assistant weighed you and moved you back to the trolley, he asked if I wanted to say my final goodbyes. I said I already did it in the car. I would not do that in the hallway of a vet clinic, unusually full on a Saturday morning, in front of other pet owners who watched me weeping from one end of the hallway to the other.

    I would not hug you; you hated that in life and I will respect your body autonomy even in death. The only full body contact we had was when I’m making sure you didn’t hurt yourself or the vet. We did that a few short days ago. Instead, in the car, I stroked your snout from the nose to the heart-shaped mark on your forehead, booped your cold nose, and held your paw. I took a few photos because I did not want to regret NOT doing it after I’ve mourned.

    I’m getting some of your ashes back next week, and I think it’s going to be the most powerful love magic I’ll ever have in my possession. I have never loved anyone the way I loved you. I don’t want to say I will never love anyone again because you have shown me how to love others, and man, what a great time it’s turning out to be.

    And I think you loved me too. You stepped into my life to save it 12 years ago, and now you are letting me go. I hope I will live a life that will make you proud. I hope you are proud. I hope you made the right choice, choosing me. Because I made the right choice to keep you. A life-changing choice.

    You have been gone for roughly four hours. I don’t know how many of the five stages of grief I can legitimately check off. We’re past denial, anger, and bargaining. Depression seems likely, but acceptance arrived just as quickly as our last drive to the vet.

    The last time I cried this hard was when I fostered you for two weeks and thought I had to let you go. And now, I’ve arrived at this bridge again and the choice is made.

    Thank you. I love you. Goodbye.

    Girlie “Smelly” Tan
    2011-2024

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  • The December 2023 Review

    The December 2023 Review

    December was for rest and doing things that weren’t writing or editing. This was leaking into January (it’s technically the 4th now) so I’m just going to shoot this off and be done with it.

    Tarot

    I finally opened my tarot reading services to the general public. I didn’t intend to, but a friend of a friend inquired and I decided to go for it. When I announced it, I ended up with a total of 6 clients over the course of two weeks. It was a little nerve-wrecking with the first couple of clients, but it got easier as I went along. I honestly had a lot of fun, and it was satisfying that nearly all the readings resonated with something they had on their minds. I just opened bookings for early January. Hit the link above for details.

    My running joke this month was that I’m a professional tarot reader, given that I’m between jobs.

    Gaming

    Happy 2024! A group of AP players setting off fireworks from the top of the lighthouse in Bahari Bay.

    Palian life got flipped turned upside down this month and it was the server segregation’s fault. They launched the Asia Pacific servers, alongside the European and North America servers. I think many didn’t expect the chaos it would cause before the company went on a long vacation.

    It became starkly obvious that cross-server play allowed us to actually collaborate with other players. The AP servers were very dead at first. Nobody responded in chat when we called out flow trees and groves. A lot of us felt as though we were the only ones on the server. We were cut off from our EU and NA friends unless we had VPN.

    We learned later that it’s hard for Switch players (also launched around the same time) to use the chat interface. That is if they spoke English at all. As a result, they banded together outside the game, unaware that there is an existing culture of collaboration in place. Some groups moved like mobs – rushing in and chopping all the flow trees without asking themselves why everyone else was waiting around. I’ve seen this gradually get better – now people do wait and signal the location with flares if they can’t use the chat box. But there’s been a lot of outrage on the official Discord server, including from yours truly.

    But the perk is that I am now active on the Palia Discord, made many friends and went on several foraging parties with them. Since I discovered that my VPN is still active, I also went on foraging/mining parties with random players who were stranded alone on their server. This happened twice; we were legit the only two people on that server and it was GREAT. I hosted one player who needed star-quality sushi over in my home, where we made the dish and several others. The hilarious moment was realising I was browsing my fish collection for something to cook like it’s a Chinese seafood restaurant.

    Coming Next

    • Will I return to the job market next year?
    • Decluttering continues. There are flea markets coming up!
    • I am slowly going through the Year Compass for the first time. More on this next report.

    Links Roundup

  • The November 2023 Review

    The November 2023 Review

    There’s not a lot to report for this month as I had been consumed by Nanowrimo.

    Book template courtesy of Canva.
    NaNoWriMo 2023: Dreaming of Water (Mystery, Thriller & Suspense, Erotic, Romance)

    Nanowrimo

    When August saved Lydia from a reoccurring nightmare, he was only curious. The Dreamwalker was pushing the boundary of his newfound powers after learning that he could control some part of the dreaming – his and others.

    But the source of Lydia’s nightmare would not tolerate outside interference. Even as they grew to look forward to their dreamtime dalliances, August’s meddling had only complicated Lydia’s predicament and made him question his morality.

    When dreamtime fantasies and the real world collide, August realises that the stakes are very real, and the outcome is going to be fatal for one of them.

    …or at least that was the plan. When you’re pantsing it, things rarely work out the way you thought, but that’s part of the fun.

    Do I enjoy writing a novel as a full time job? Yes and no. I did indeed had the flexibility to do nothing but write a book for one month solid, but it’s because I’m between work projects. Add in the expected sprinkling of “what the heck am I doing” and “this isn’t making any sense” and the standard amount of self-loathing.

    Dreaming of Water is based on the two short stories I wrote during Stories on Fire, which in turn was based on a collaborative Storium game/story (DOL) with a friend. This story predates DOL, featuring a Dreamwalker that had a significant cameo in one chapter. I didn’t know where I was going with it. I just wanted to explore his story. It’s hard to figure out what genre this falls under – The Dreamlands can be anything you want it to be, and I happen lean more into medieval fantasy.

    I completed Nanowrimo with 50,031 words, but the story is not done. I’m not sure if I will continue or if I’m going to start breaking it down and resequencing the entire narrative. I’ve already written down the ending in bullet points but the journey there has become muddied. There are things that I wanted to happen after other things, but because I was out of ideas, it ended up where it ended up.

    I guess I’ll give it a couple of months. Apparently January is Stories on Fire month again, and I may give it another shot.

    Gaming

    Nothing new to report other than my house is coming along. I spent most of November doing the bare minimum, which is to farm on my plot and sell produce, with the occasional run outside to mine, forage and hunt. Decorating has been subject to inspiration. For example, I had no idea how to populate this trophy room until I was inspired to turn it into a study. This view shows off the desk the best, but the background is still a work in progress.

    Coming Next

    • With Nanowrimo out of the way, I have more time to forus on tarot reading. If you want to get one, you can order it here. If you are an IRL contact, you can opt for an in-person reading. Just get in touch with me to make arrangements.
    • December will hopefully see me editing some of the short stories I wrote in September and looking into submitting them somewhere, even it’s it’s just AO3.
    • I also plan on making another crack at moving the stuff and things out of my room and get them donated or set aside for the next preloved market.

    Links Roundup

    A no-commentary list of articles and media I found interesting enough to share on my Discord server.

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  • The October 2023 Review

    The October 2023 Review

    Report is late because my time is entirely consumed by Nanowrimo.

    Site News & Updates

    A number of my pages or blog entries now have a new addition on top of the page:

    Clicking it will open up a hidden section describing the changes to that page. The reason for this is because I’ll be updating any relevant posts with new information from now on. It seems redundant to create a whole new page for something that might be more fitting for a social media post (and if you’re reading this, you know I don’t really do social media anymore). It’s something called a digital garden, where something is planted and then tended to as necessary. Updated pages will be listed on my main page.

    Work

    This month sees us wrapping up ‘Inside SSPCA‘, a magazine released during Asia for Animals 2023. You can read more of my thoughts at the links, and download the digital version here.

    The other thing at AfA was my first ever gig as a conference rapporteur. The job scope for a rapporteur is to sit in on papers being presented and capture the main points. To an extent, it was similar to a reporter’s job except you record more things, not just the parts that will make it into your article. The points are then compiled into daily reports.

    For AfA 2023, we have a stagger total of 80 papers across three streams. There were three rapporteurs and three reports across three days of the conference. For most part, I was typing down notes and squinting at the projector far in front of the Grand Hall at BCCK. These don’t get immediately resolved into points that I would send in, which meant we spend a good hour at the end of the conference day getting our notes into some semblence of order.

    These notes are meant to go to the organiser, and subsequently to any stakeholders up the pipeline. In our case, we were asked to compile points from Day One and Two for a minister to catch up on before he arrived to close the conference.

    It was a gruelling introduction to rapporteur work because it was a huge conference. I was invited back to rapporteur for another conference with only one stream and two days, and the workload looked manageable by one person. However, I knew I would be exhausted from coming out of one market and needing enough rest for the next.

    Markets & Bazaars

    Some of the new owners of my preloved books.

    I participated in two markets this month. The first was the second edition of Trunkie Junkie, which took place at Cafe Cafe early in the month. Once again, I teamed up with my pal Ronnie. The crowd was awesome. We sold a lot more than we did in the first Trunkie Junkie, and saw a lot of friends and other book lovers. Happy to have let go a good number of excellent titles.

    The Pay Day Bazaar at La Promenade Mall was a marathon (6 days) where Trunkie Junkie was a sprint (6 hours). I was eyeing it but didn’t want to go out alone – I only had so many books. Once I learned that a friend has secured a table, I asked if I could have a corner.

    The bazaar was a relatively tiny one (3-4 tables), but there were several other events happening at the mall on the first weekend. We did pretty well, and I sold nearly half of what I had in my stock, which leaves me with the interesting problem of not having many books left to bring to the next market. These titles didn’t move through three markets, and I don’t expect them to do too well in any upcoming ones. I’ll probably do a last ditch, either at another upcoming market as a supplementary product, or put them online.

    The bazaar was comfortable. The mall’s social media people took photos and updated every day. Eve and Irene were cold all the time, and my running joke was, “I’m not cold, I’m fat”. Overall, it was 6 days across two weekends of catching up with all the news because I didn’t spend a lot of time with either of them since I left The Borneo Post.

    But it was a full time job, and I needed 2-3 business days to recover after each weekend.

    Our table at the mall. Photos courtesy of La Promenade.

    Gaming

    This month on Palia, I’m focused on building my home. This involves grinding for gold through hunting and farming, and collecting enough resources to build pieces of furniture. Above is what you see when you enter my house. It’s still a work-in-progress and I’ve tweaked it since. And everyone here is a zookeeper – the starred (high quality) fishes and bugs can be used for display, and if we’re not desperate for gold, it goes on display. I’ve seen far larger collections than mine forming a labyrinth over the player’s plot, least you think this is a lot of tanks.

    At the same time, I’m bidding a “goodbye for now” to Storium. The momentum ended when I had to step away in July, which I felt little guilt for doing because it was hitting summer when the whole site just seems to go into hibernation.

    Truth is I’m tired of trying to get things going, and I’m tired of waiting around for other people. This is an acceptable past time when I don’t have anything better to do, but I’m back to working on my own creative writing and I cannot multitask the same set of muscles on different projects. Plus, the likelihood of completing my own projects is 100% on me and not divided between a few players who has other priorities.

     

    Coming Next

    • NaNoWriMo 2023: I didn’t think that I would want to dive headlong into another month of writing so soon after Stories on Fire, but here I am. I’m updating this 18th Nov and have plenty to say but it’ll have to wait until December. Meanwhile, feel free to add me as a buddy.

    Links Roundup

    A no-commentary list of articles and media I found interesting enough to share on my Discord server.

  • The September 2023 Review

    The September 2023 Review

    This month was as busy as I expected and I’m out of breath just thinking about it. Here are some highlights.

    Work

    As anticipated, September was busy because all the work came bottlenecking into this month. It’s partly my fault because I could have followed up sooner, but instead I waited like I wasn’t the one in charge here. That’s a pretty strange feeling – that I was in charge of getting things together and had people in my team. It’s certainly given me a new perspective and a sense of appreciation for a solid, well-rounded crew – my assistant editor who picked up all the loose ends, and the layout editor who got absorbed into my team when I realised that made more sense.

    I think it’s pretty cool that this is an all-women team, and it went with minimal drama. Solid team. Job done. Can’t wait to see the magazine in print.

    Irene C’s Wedding

    My friend’s wedding dinner proved to be a fantastic reunion situation for me and my media friends, most of whom I haven’t seen since leaving the industry. There was plenty to catch up on and connections to reforge. I was in the local media for nearly 14 years so that’s a lot of people to say hello to and repeat the story of where I am now. Thanks to Irene for this opportunity, and congrats to you and Shakiru on the wedding!

    TTRPG

    Seni Kita by HAUS was quite a lot of fun. My talk went well, although I’m not sure how many people were even listening. The Saturday group was already in session with Tiny Dungeons by then. I wasn’t playing, so I floated around, catching up with old friends and making new ones. I had a fantastic time, but I really over-extroverted myself.

    For the second weekend, I went there to check out the other booths and hang out with friends. Ended up giving a couple of oracle and tarot readings. Maybe that’s a booth to consider in the future? Anyway, I was inspired to start work on some of my chapbooks in the backburner, and explore the art/preloved market scene a bit more. That’s my plan for the remainder of the year.

    Anyway, if you are in Kuching and want in on the TTRPG action, email me or hit me up via Mastodon. You can also add our Game Master Eric on Instagram.

    Gaming

    I’m still playing Palia. It’s a nice, no-stress way to unwind so I’m not bored yet because there’s plenty that I have not unlocked. I’m also working on setting up my house, but my decorating skill is as bad as it is in real life.

    The image above is a corner of the innkeeper Ashura’s private room. If you’ve played, you’d know that Ashura’s wife had died (I forgot if he ever told me why). I found this little shrine situation here and I think it’s pretty sweet. The details though! That portrait of her is gorgeous. There’s also a gravestone for her in the Rememberence Garden, and Ashura visits every day.

    I’ve also been seeing a lot of Baldur’s Gate 3 content on Instagram. I wasn’t feeling very compelled to play until the multiple livestream recordings of people reacting to Astarion’s romance arc. *fans self* I’m still not gonna spend over RM200 on a game I’m not likely to finish.

    Stories on Fire

    I’m not sure which was more insane – me joining a challenge to write one short story every day of the month during one of the busiest months of my year, or me actually concluding it at 26 out of 30 stories. (I would have done 30/30 if I didn’t sabotage myself on work and Seni Kita weekend.)

    At some point soon, I’ll elaborate about the experience on the Stories on Fire page, where you can currently find my catalogue of titles and descriptions. I’m glad I joined. Some of these stories will get polished and sent somewhere.

    Twitch

    Along with SoF, I’ll have to mention some progress on Twitch. This month, I cracked past 50 followers and all the way to 70, thanks to me being online more than usual, and getting raided by a few Twitch friends. Not bad for someone who hasn’t had her mic on all month because my old USB port won’t stay connected and I had to prioritise my mouse and keyboard. It’s fixed now. I’ll figure out how I want to do this moving forward.

    I do plan on redoing my scenes. They got increasingly more cluttered as I added things to it. I want to simplify, or at least, organise it better, and I’m waiting for the right mindset to add a to-do list to the stream. I think I’m settling into the writing/coworking side of the community, although I do plan on working on some crafting in the coming weeks.

    Pelikan Hub

    Pelikan Hub 2023 was a pleasant affair. A bunch of regulars and a handful of new people who are proving to be great additions. My duty as Hub Master was fairly painless, except then I had to draw an outline of that cat on our banner and realised I’m so rusty at art that it took me much longer than it should. I came to the meet with a box, and left without it. Everything was given away, including the banner and the Hub Master’s gift.

    The group separated into two tables – the main one with all the inks and pens being wielded, and a smaller one where we’d just sat and chatted. I was happy for the latter since I was rather over-extended by that week, but I’m also happy that the bigger group bonded quickly. One of our newcomers packed a gift of stationary for everyone, which was unexpected but sweet.

    Coming Next

    • I am participating in two marketplaces in October – Trunkie Junkie, and the Pay Day Bazaar at La Promenade. I’ll be hawking off my preloved books at both.
    • I also plan to experiment with making chapbooks. I got a couple of things ready to go but have yet to get my shit together.
    • I’m exploring the digital garden concept of maintaining a website. There’s a link below if you’re interested.
      .

    Links Roundup

    A no-commentary list of articles and media I found interesting enough to share on my Discord server.

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  • The August 2023 Review

    The August 2023 Review

    August was full of waiting around.

    Work

    So this month, I’m working on a small magazine as its editor. It’s likely going to be a one-off, although the clients suggested they might want to publish more regularly in a year. This is all good with me and my assistant editor. It uses a skill set we already have, with additional aspects to learn. Our timeline did fall out the window though. Because we needed to reach out to a lot of busy people, we’re still waiting to hear back from most of them while working on things that are within our control. I expect that September is going to be very busy since we will need to start finalising some of those pages for our layout designer.

    TTRPG

    While I have not played a game this month due to scheduling conflicts, it turns out that we’re going to Seni Kita by HAUS KCH. Eric will be running a couple of games on the weekend of Sept 16-17, and I will be talking about TTRPG as a subculture in Kuching and why women should play. More about that when the time draws near, but we may have 1-2 slots available at the table on both days if you want to check it out.

    Gaming

    Since my last update, I’ve been enthralled with two games, namely Dave the Diver, and Palia.

    Screenshot from Dave the Diver, showing a boat on the waters at night, with a sushi restaurant illuminated in the background.
    Dave the Diver and business partner Cobra in a boat at night.

    Much have been said about Dave the Diver. It’s an underwater exploration game and a restaurant management game. There is a vegetable and fish farming component, and some mini games. The underwater part was educational since the creatures you meet there are mostly real sea creatures. The loading screen helpfully introduces you to the denizens that you will spear or that will try to kill you. The NPCs are quirky and memorable. There are loads of cutscenes and they are all awesome and hilarious. I finished it fairly quickly and kept on playing to collect a few other creatures that eluded me.

    And then came Palia.

    A screenshot from the game Palia, featuring my character in the centre, waving at the "camera". Behind her is part of the village and further back is a stone mountain with a crescent carved out of the peak.
    My Palia avatar waving at the “camera” from somewhere in the village.

    At time of writing, Palia is under open beta, so some things still break, and some skills don’t seem worth developing (looking at you, Furniture Making), it’s a nice, no-stress, game where you can explore the world and build your character at your own speed. Quests unlock as you level up your skills or discover something in the world, and are not time-sensitive. If other players are involved, it’s more about cooperation than competition. I haven’t opened Steam since Palia came out in closed beta.

    r/Writers Discord

    When I joined the r/Writers Discord, I did not expect much. The subreddit was okay, moving at a speed that I was comfortable with. I’m aware there are other writing subreddits, but I didn’t want to overwhelm my homepage. One of the mods started a Discord and I was one of the first to join. Before long, I volunteered to manage the channels and community. Now it’s my favourite Discord server and writing community – with a range of writing and publishing experiences, and people who are friendly and generous with their knowledge.

    I run a few Discord servers, but this is the biggest one that requires more attention. I want the community to have some ownership to the place, so I always like to say the mods are here to provide support and advice if you want to run/lead something on the server, but don’t leave us holding the bag. With our membership quickly approaching 500, I think it’s time to appoint more mods and hand over some of my duties.

    Other Matters

    • I signed up for a challenge to write one short story every day in September. Short stories isn’t my wheelhouse, and I doubt if I’ll be able to churn one out every day, so this would be interesting. Updates here.
    • Looking forward to a friend and ex-colleague’s wedding reception on Sept 2!
    • Pelikan Hub Kuching on Sept 22, which you can read about in my previous blog entry linked. September is going to be busy!

    Links Roundup

    A no-commentary list of articles and media I found interesting enough to share on my Discord server.

  • Taking a SWOT at myself

    I participated in a little get-to-know-you on Reddit earlier this year and someone started a SWOT analysis of their personality, which many of us liked and copied. Here’s mine in a formal-looking slide:

    Strength: Creative, non-judgemental, punctual, problem-solver. I know what I like or don't like and refuse to let anyone shame me. Will probably remember everything you told me.

Weakness: Long recovery time. Like being indoors, but doesn't like non-interactive activities (ie movies) when with friends. Food.

Opportunity: Will try nearly anything at least once, as long as it doesn't harm anyone or anything.

Threat: Not present when busy. Will ghost if energy is not matched.  I know what I like or don't like and refuse to let anyone shame me. Will probably remember everything you told me.

    Of course, this is purely from my perspective. A third party might have something different to say.

    What would yours say?

  • The March-July 2023 Review

    The March-July 2023 Review

    I started writing a March review, but that subsequent quarter completely derailed with work and personal matters. I’ll write what I remember.

    Digital Migrations

    I‘m coming close to completing completed my password migration out of LastPass and to BitWarden. As if the breach wasn’t bad enough, they were hit with another security incident. Someone is trying real hard to get a bunch of passwords, likely not mine, and I don’t want to hang around for the next round of breaches. LastPass is now in the past.

    The other digital migration I had to do in April was this entire website. Of course, I waited till the last minute – IPserverone was up for renewal but they are also terminating the service I’m on at the end of this year. There is no refund or discount for months that are not used, and I cannot afford to pay for services that I will not receive.

    I moved to Shinjuru. They were very helpful and walked me through a few hurdles that I didn’t know were there. My domain was still registered to the friend who helped me sign up years ago, and I couldn’t even remember his name offhand. Thank goodness for an extensive network. We reconnected and I owe him coffee.

    I have yet to finalise migrating out of Evernote. I tried several others and thought I would settle on Obsidian. But I had a syncing mishap that resulted in me losing an entire page of work, so my trust has yet to return.

    Work

    There was a lot of unplanned post-production with with the TV show that sprawled over the second quarter, but I’m happy to say that the show is a wrap now and out of our hands.

    A joint pitch earlier in the year didn’t pan out to anything, but I was approached by some work contacts about a surprisingly similar job, which I was happy to accept because I have worked with that organisation before, and it is a step-up in job scope. Instead of being just a writer, I’m the editor. I have the skill set for it and am excited about the opportunity to try it out.

    This would cover me until the end of September, so I’ll be available for new projects October onwards!

    TTRPG

    Over the past two weeks, I got to play Blades in the Dark with the Aunties, and Tiny Dungeon with a group I’ve never played with before. The world of Blades is fascinating, but there’s a lot to grasp. We have another session planned – for some reason, part of the team was always missing. For the original session, I was one of those missing due to a family crisis.

    Tiny Dungeon was easier to grasp and the group was fun. I adore getting to play a treefolk, and we want to do this again as a group.

    Other Games

    I have stopped playing two of my mainstays – Shop Titan and Storium. I didn’t have the space for them during the family crisis in June. With Shop Titan, I simply stopped logging in. I’ve been wanting to leave the game for a while, but habit kept me going back to do the minimum. It’s actually rather nice to stop doing that. The game kinda lost its appeal a long time ago, and I was only keeping the guild open for the newer players.

    With Storium, I didn’t have a lot of active games running. It’s summer, so the place is partially comatose anyway. I don’t feel like I’m missing much. I took a break from the new big game, handed over one game to another narrator, and told one game that I’ll be closing it by a certain date whether or not they made their closing move. Anyway, “Home. Where?” is my first and only completed game that I narrated. I’m proud of the concept and format, and the players who made it possible.

  • The February 2023 Review

    The February 2023 Review

    For a short month, February was unexpectedly busy.

    Work

    Work picked up. A friend and occasional client asked if I could write down a story for him. He had an idea but didn’t know how to flesh it out. I stopped by his new studio, listened to his pitch and was able to elaborate on it from there. A week later, I had a full story. Last I heard, they were off to pitch it to some potential funders. If all goes well, I might have a film project by the third quarter of this year.

    Aunties versus…

    The Aunties together with our game master Eric (centre).

    Back before MCO hit, I finally got around to playing Dungeons & Dragons, and it was a good time. However, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that it’s a very male-dominated community and women generally stay away from it because it sounds like something pimply teenage males play. Should I elaborate on this one of these days? Perhaps. But for now, here’s a podcast episode I made about my first game, including some live plays. (Available wherever you listen to podcasts.)

    At some point, I commented to the only other woman in my group that I would expect a D&D game to be different if a female DM ran it. She agreed. There are no female DMs in Kuching (that I know of). D&D is too complicated for my two brain cells, and after WotC’s misstep with the OGL, I found even less reason to attempt it.

    However, the seed was sown. I gathered together my girlfriends who are interested in trying out TTRPGs with the intention of teaching myself an easy indie system. Eric, who is in some of my other local interest groups, happened to be a game master interested in various systems. After attending one of his games, I told him what I was trying to do and he offered to run a game for us.

    We met at The Chop Shop to play an Index Card RPG adventure. We had a blast and are definitely doing it again. I have tentatively named our group “Aunties versus” because we certainly qualify for the title based on our age. Interested to try out TTRPG and can spare a weekend afternoon one of these days? Email is on the main page.

    Site Matters

    I received news in mid-February that my webhosting will no longer be continuing the service I’m on and their cloud hosting is far beyond my budget. I have until the end of the year to migrate, so I’m currently investigating options. I’ve had Shinjuru and Exabytes recommended to me on Malaysia reddit, so I need to find some time to sit down and make decisions.

  • Creating a firework bunker for the dog

    Creating a firework bunker for the dog

    Ah, festive seasons in Malaysia. Any excuse to shoot fireworks into the sky because other people are richer than me.

    But what really pisses me off is that it terrorises my dog, causing her to refuse walks and toilet time, which is not ideal because she refuses to go on our property. She would only do it when we’re out for a walk.

    If Girlie Dog was caught outside when the fireworks go off, she would squeeze under my car or into the tiny legroom of the table in the corner of the porch. But being inside didn’t seem to be any better. She still paced, looking for somewhere quieter, and usually settling under my legs under my computer desk.

    In the foreground is a dog looking slightly towards the right of the photo. In the background (right), a biscuit sits on top of a car tire. On the left is an old-fashioned computer piled with boxes.

    And let’s be honest, the best place for a dog to hide from fireworks and get some of that sound-muffling quality is under my bed. The problem was that I have boxes and tubs under the bed, and I’ve been putting off figuring out what to do with them.

    Things really got rolling when I saw a rug listed for a giveaway on the local “Buy Nothing” group. It turned out to be someone living just one lorong away from me. I went by the same evening to collect it.

    The rug was lightweight and fairly large. It was a shade somewhere between salmon and pink, made up of soft fluff that was easily pulled away at the edges. It would probably disintegrate if I washed it. Instead, I beat out the dust, vacuumed it thoroughly and left it in the sun to freshen it up before slipping it under my bed. I had to move a lot of boxes around to make room, but it was done.

    It wasn’t that hard to teach the dog that it was her new space. She is a polite dog and I never had to deal with her getting into places where she shouldn’t be (unless there’s food involved). I lured her with some popcorn, throwing them deeper and deeper under the bed. She willingly belly-crawled inside, which was easy and comfortable since the bed had double the height clearance of my car.

    On the days leading up to CNY eve, Girlie snoozed on my bedroom floor after dinner and eventually learned how to retreat under my bed when the fireworks outside got too loud. I am very pleased with how well this worked.

    A dog is asleep on a pink rug under a bed. Her paws are crossed on top of each others and nearer to the camera so they look enormous.

    I even added an LED light bar so that I can check on her from time to time. It was pretty dark under there. If you look closely at the photo above, you’ll see that I also set up privacy curtains for maximum noise-dampening.

    I ran a non-scientific sound test with my phone camera, recording the noise level at the height of the fireworks and then plunging the phone deep under the bed where the dog was hiding. The noise was muffled by more than half its volume. I wanted to crawl under there with the dog.

    Girlie Dog spent most of the CNY nights there. It was nice to have her in the room, and nice that she has her own space tucked away from my already limited floor space. I suppose the only part that wasn’t nice was when she woke me by noisily licking her privates in the dead of night.

    Firework season is over and I’ve packed the rug away. The dog has returned to her hammock bed on the porch, where she can closely monitor neighbourhood activity. The space under my bed remains empty while I look for the energy to de-own stuff that used to be there.

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